Inner Enemies - How to conqure them?

Topis is how to conquer the inner enemies?

We have heard a lot about the external enemies and we do a lot to protect ourselves from these enemies. There are enemies within us, what are we doing to protect ourselves from them?

Our mind is our biggest friend when it cooperates and the same mind is our biggest enemy when you do not know how to handle it, and it poses as a formidable enemy.

This heart is a battlefield, a fight is continuously going on between good and demonic tendencies (passion, greed, jealousy, competition and so on) . It is not just one or two, there are numerous demonic tendencies and they reside right here in heart. When the divine wins the war, there is happiness, but when demonic tendency rules, our peace and life is destroyed. This life is too precious to be destroyed. How much life do we have? We do not know. Just like a drop of water on a lotus leave is very slippery, it can drop any time, such is our life, it can pass away any time, we do not know when the life is going to be over. We have to make most of the life, in short time available to us, and not let these tendencies to destroy us, 

What is it that compels us to do the wrong things?  What is that compels the person to go against the righteousness?  It is Kamaha (the binding desire). The door leading to unhappiness (downfall) are three fold; Kamaha (binding desire) , Krodha (Anger)  and Lobha (Greed). Jealousy, strong sense of competition, fear and insecurities all get covered under these big three. These enemies destroy from within, we so not know they are enemies and we continue to nurture them, we become so helpless and they rule the roost. If we are not vigilant, a time will come when they will govern leading to unhappiness, solid conflict, and can lead someone to depression. We need to wake up, take the call and do something about it.

We are off our guard when it comes to enemies within us. Sometimes we think these are the tools to get things done. 

We have to become our own friend. A person content with himself knows how to handle their life, relationship. When there is an inadequacy, a vacuum within, then we become very vulnerable to all these things. We need to work with ourselves. We do a lot of work outside, we need to do the work inside as well.

Let us discuss these enemies (Kamaha, Krodha, lobha) one by one.

Kamaha - Desire - what is wrong with this desire? nothing wrong. Desire is a Sakti (power), iccha sakti, provided how we know how to use this Sakti (power). If a desire begins to manage us, it is problem. Two sets of desires; pertaining to non self and the other is pertaining to self. Desires pertaining to non self are fine; house, food, education are all legitimate desires. Desire to obtain the worldly objects to “become happy” is not a legitimate desire. The fundamental reality about me is “Full”. If I am out to fulfill a desire to become happy, we should know that happiness will be only momentary.

Desire within the boundary of Dharma is adequate. But the pressure becomes so much, I must get what I must get, and this is the time that person begins to violates the dharma. This is what happened to Ravana (he was a learned person), but the desire became powerful, that he wanted it so badly. This is what the binding desire can lead us to.

Bhgvatam has a beautiful verse; no matter what you do, inadequacy within you, will never fill up. The emptiness within, the vacuum within will never diminish.

I need to take pause and think what I am running after. What these desires are constantly pushing me to.? The price that you have to pay is very big, What is the antidote? By Viveka (discerning). I can learn from other’s experience. People have everything, why they are not happy. To go and enquire, and learn…

Kodha Anger:

Most formidable enemy. Desire not fulfilled turned into anger. Lord Krishna shows the ladder of fall, when you are attached to something and constantly pondering on it, attachment is built, now the moment has come, if that desire is not fulfilled, it converts into anger. From this desire, anger comes. We do not consciously desire anger, it comes. When my desire not met, anger takes over. Everybody has to go my way or highway, it erupts in the form of anger. Until it is arises, game is in your hand, when anger is coming, it is still in your hand, my eyes are getting read, hands trembling, at this time if we can save it, we are still safe, the moment that it takes you over, now you cannot do anything.

My expectations of others are so much, that I want everyone to do what I want.  You may be a perfectionist, you may have a high standard for yourself (everything should be orderly), children may not be like that, your spouse may not be like that. Your standards are good, but the people that you interact with, it is not possible for them to change. Not everybody can change. Making a change in someone's personality is hard. Your anger may get expressed in a way that it is not good

Similarly when my desire is so strong that I must have it. I do not take No for an answer. When anger takes over, however intelligent that you may be, but when this enemy takes over, your culture goes into backburner. Now anger is taken over. It won't see anything, rest is history. This enemy can destroy our lives. I wish I had not done that. But the damage is already done. 

Anger damages me and plus the person it was directed towards. Sometimes the damage is so much that the situation cannot be repaired. Those who are the victim of our anger, they sometimes cannot come out of it. Their self-confidence goes down. Sometimes when spouse or children are victim of it, their confidence is lost. What right does anyone have to subject someone to this?

Lord Krishna says, until the last breath, there is a possibility of Anger and Passion to arise. But yogi is one who can hold it back. He calls the person a Yogi who can hold it. In a person whom this does not arise what to call that person!

Yogi does not allow the passion and anger to take it over. Our intellect has to be always on guard. Until the last breath, one can hold the passion and anger back. it means that never be complacent, it can come back. But be on guard. Always be aware of what's going on. Take the right steps right time.

We need to constantly need to work on ourselves. We need to watch the words, what am I thinking, what I am doing, needs to be watched. 

Accommodate the people as they are. People want to comply with your standard, but they can't. they are different personality, with different limitations. If I want everything the way I want, it will not be going to happen. When it doesn't happen, we are angry.  Our life becomes miserable. It is very difficult for other person to live with you.

You want other people change, and the other person also wants you to change.

Intelligence is accepting the things as they are

It is not easy to change anyone.

There will be harmony at home and workplace if there is accommodation.

We have to be tolerant, become accommodating, accept people as they are, we give up our demand and give up expectation.

You can keep standards for yourself but not for others. When you give this liberty, the other person come to know that I am accepted as I am. In spite of who I am, the person feels accepted, that will trigger the person to change.

Accept as they are, without condemning, they will understand, then they will change. If they do not, do not bother. This will definitely bring harmony. 

People that are angry, they are unhappy, unhappiness at core.

We think that when I raise my voice, people will do what I want. But they know that the person is weak. Anger is not the sign of strength; it is a sign of weakness. If the person is not strong, do you want to reject them.

When they are angry, you stay calm.

When a person is sick, you treat them, similarly when you find such a person, accept such a person. When they say 2 words, do not say 5 words. We may be quite outside, but inside I am saying 5 things, but the other person knows. Be genuine. Bless them.

Accept each other, that will change the atmosphere

No problem can be solved by anger.

Angry person loses respect. Tell me who will like such a person. Do you like yourself when you are angry?

We have to come out of this problem. Give up demands on others to be like this. 

Ignorance is thru and thru. When we do not like ourselves, we want others to make us happy.

In short, we need to work with this anger, by being tolerant, accommodating, giving up demand on other people how they should be.

Forgive what they have done, constantly we nurse that wound. It happened some 15 years back. That time the person was different. Do not be stagnant.

We do not talk to each other’s for years. Family members do not talk to each other. Moment a person gives in and keep aside the ego and says how are you. Understand, that person will give in. One person has to bend a little. 

But we are adamant, he should talk to me first. Our real wealth is being a friend. It is to help myself. There will be peace in myself.

Lobha -GREED

when a desire gets fulfilled, then I want more and more. You do not want to enjoy and you do not let anyone else to enjoy. Hold onto to more and more wealth. I will not allow others to spend.

when desire is fulfilled, momentarily you feel ood. when anger, you momentarily you feel good, but Greed is more and more.

Spend it, share.

Contentment is the antidote. 

Who has seen the limit of Greed!

Be manganous. When you give contentment to others, you will be content.

When I spend (treasure, time, caring), I get more. In the process of spending you get it.

This is the real wealth in here. Not outside of us.

Overcome Greed by being content, by sharing, you will be richer

Competition:

This is the cancer in our life. I can be happy when I am number one and ahead of you.

Even If i archived more than my expectations, I am not happy because someone else has achieved more. I cannot be happy.

If I archived less, still I am happy, why? because my friend is below me. If I do not achieve my goal, i am still happy because of this comparison.

This is what we made our lives. always comparing with others.

We need to know that people are different, capacity is different, samskara is different. The other person may be more capable. The other person may have more punya in his account. The success also has a lot to say about your past punya.

Right from the tender age, we are teaching competition to the children.

We should help them to compete with their own capacity and bring about the changes within me.

Today everybody wants to be #1. This is a rat race. They are destroying themselves. Their happiness goes away.

Do not plunge. Do not compare with others

Jealousy

Someone having more wealth, more position, I do not like it. They becomes the cause of disliking the person. They have something more, it is problem for me, and it becomes the cause of disliking. Two wealthy people do not like each other.

Everybody to some extents have this. All this create turmoil. We can’t sleep at night. Diabetes, headache and many diseases.

We need to remove this garbage. To the extent you remove, you will feel better.

Be a good human being.

We have to work with ourselves, be victorious over these enemies within.

We may have power, name and fame but all these comforts will not give happiness if we are harboring these kinds of enemies within. This requires lots effort.

We can take someone’s help? Who? Ishwara, all mightly and powerful. Seek that help.

No shortcut. Either do this, or suffer. Sooner or later, they become such a big enemy and destroy